My Story. My Values.

Everyone comes to the wider martial arts community with a story to tell, and every business (at least small ones like mine!) is to a greater or lesser extent reflective of the values of the people that run it, which are themselves shaped by those people's stories. So, as the owner of a small business in the martial arts space, I wanted to discuss my story in a little more depth, so that you, the customer, can understand the values I attempt to live by, and subsequently seek to project through my work at Pentagon Krav Maga.

I grew up in Towcester in the southern part of Northamptonshire. Those who know the area will know it as a small and unremarkable town, and those who don't will at least know of Silverstone, which is right next door – we would get the Red Arrows over our house on race weekends, which we loved, but the dog not so much! I had a good family, providing a comfortable and supportive home. However, school was difficult for me, not academically, but socially. I was a sensitive and soft-natured soul, in no way inclined to aggression, which made me great sport for bullies. This sadly followed me all the way through my teen years, with serious consequences for my self-esteem. While I was fortunately spared much physical violence, the ostracisation and constant mockery marked me and soured the way I viewed the world. Even well into adulthood I have often been badly let down by people I put a lot of trust in, and in turn I had done the same to others. It has only been quite recently that I've been able to accept that this isn't necessarily due to malice, but simple human frailties – thoughtlessness, self-centredness, poor communication and so on – and that my own thought processes had contributed to me being open to these struggles.

A huge change occurred in my mid-20s, when I fell seriously ill with a chronic illness that I continue to manage today. It is difficult to overstate how unwell I was – by some minor miracle I was still able to work and avoided admission to hospital, but it came very close – and I will need to manage the illness for the rest of my life, but coming through the worst of that horrible experience fundamentally shifted my world view and priorities. Firstly, it made me prioritise my health and fitness, as I had experienced what it was like to lose it, and may yet again. Second, and perhaps more profoundly, I realised what tremendous inner strength I had all along, and so started to genuinely recognise myself as a strong and capable person. Further, I realised that Life (TM) happens, and there is nothing personal about it. I was no longer a perpetual victim of some cosmic conspiracy, and while there is something faintly cynical, perhaps even nihilistic, about that perspective, I actually took great strength from it. And so I became far more willing to seize the day – a big deal for someone who is naturally risk-averse! - and take ownership of what parts of my life I could.

It was during this period of recovery and personal growth that I discovered Krav Maga, almost entirely by accident. I had read a light-hearted article on 'hardcore martial arts' (or words to that effect) and Krav was at the top of the charts. Out of curiosity I googled for a class near me, and found I had one not 15 minutes walk down the hill from my flat, so I booked a trial class and subsequently changed the arc of my life. I had made forays into martial arts in the past, driven by a desire to be stronger in some intangible way, but I had been unable to get what I needed out of them and so I didn't stick with it. Walking into this new class for the first time was intimidating - I was a lone adult male, coming into a unfamiliar space, and it was hard. My instructor would always say that people get defeated at the door, so simply showing up is a victory of a kind. Now I'm on the other side of the curtain, so to speak, I get why it can be so hard for people to start. But two hours later I left feeling ten-foot tall, instantly more capable, more secure, more confident than I had been going in. It is difficult to describe how incredible that sense of empowerment is, and that is a key driver of what I do today. I want to give that feeling back to people who have stories like mine.

So what of my values? I boil them down to five key elements (because Pentagon, obviously!): Humanity, humility, agency, integrity, and authenticity. Humanity is about compassion for others and oneself. Life happens, people encounter trouble and have their own stories. They have their own priorities, journeys and objectives, belief systems and moral compass. I'm a firm believer in 'live and let live' – but that equally should apply to yourself too, not allowing your own story, your own way of life or world-view, to be delegitimised or judged unduly. And for me, that compassion extends to accepting that people contain multitudes: no-one is all the way good or evil, no-one is perfect, and everyone will make mistakes. To borrow a phrase from a very kind-hearted friend of mine, 'everyone has shit themselves at some point or another'. Keeping that colourful image in mind grants one a certain grace and humility that I think is both very important, and often sorely lacking. In fact, humility - that understanding that you are not perfect and will always have room to improve and grow - is so crucial that I hold it as the second key value.

That compassion discussed above is tempered by agency, the third value. This is about taking control of your own life, your own growth. It is for you to own your circumstances, your own perceptions, and rise above them, to accept that ultimately, your destiny is yours to forge. No-one else will do it for you. I feel that too often in this day and age people will dodge responsibility for their own lives, considering themselves entitled to the fruits of labours they didn’t perform, and instead just make excuses for themselves and/or allow themselves to become embittered (like I once did) when Life does not work out they way they believe it should. Different people have different capabilities and priorities and that's ok, but none of this should be an excuse for half-assed efforts, or not trying at all. The great thing is that simply showing up to a class demonstrates adherence to this value, as it exhibits exactly that ownership of your own safely and own growth that I consider so important. Agency at the end of the day is about empowerment - empowering yourself to make the best of the one life The Creator has granted to us.

Next we have integrity, which is something most people understand pretty intuitively: behaving with honesty, fairness and transparency. But for me, it's also about owning your mistakes, owning your limitations (back to 'agency' and ‘humility’!) and seeking every day to do better than the day before. Of course, this self-improvement isn't a smooth or linear process, and sometimes we'll go backwards, and that also is ok (that's the 'humanity' showing up here), but we should always hold onto that objective ever-present on the horizon. Integrity dovetails neatly into the final value, authenticity, which is about being true to yourself, your own values and needs and objectives - perhaps the most important form of honesty of all. Certainly in my own life, I have not been true to myself at various points, where I’ve masked parts of myself or allowed my moral compass to be swayed by those around me in an effort to belong. Being a social animal, this is a natural human behaviour, but in the end it hollows you out and can leave you feeling very lost and alienated. By being authentic, you allow yourself the opportunity to find true belonging and true purpose, and inoculate yourself from the influence of those around you who don’t share in your mission, whatever that might be.

I am conscious that a business talking about their story and values can ring very hollow and insincere, often amounting to little more than self-indulgent grandstanding, but given Pentagon Krav Maga is a one-man show, the linkage between me and the business is much more pronounced than your average corporation. I do truly believe in these key values, and seek to conduct myself according to them every day. Further, I expect those who come under my banner to do the same too. I hope, having learnt a little of my own story, you can understand why.

All blog posts are reflective of the private opinions of the author, and are not to be considered as an officially-held position of any organisation, including the IKMF and Pentagon Krav Maga. Pentagon Krav Maga, the IKMF and the author will not held be liable for any action or inaction taken by a third-party as a result of this article.